Do women have the upper hand in custody disputes?
A lot of misinformation abounds about divorce and custody issues. Many parents begin legal proceedings with unrealistic expectations. Some mothers assume that they should automatically receive sole custody, while many fathers presume that they cannot obtain even shared custody.
However, these beliefs come from a misunderstanding of the family law system. Either parent in a family potentially has the option of going to court to seek the majority of parenting time or even sole custody depending on family circumstances. The courts should follow the law and look carefully at family circumstances rather than simply at the sex of the parent making the request.
State custody laws are sex-neutral
When looking at laws addressing the allocation of parenting time and parental responsibilities, many people feel surprised. Specifically, they did not realize before that the state does not reference the sex of either parent or their specific role as mother or father.
The law does not state that mothers should have first consideration or priority in custody disputes. Instead, the law employs sex-neutral language that focuses on the children more than the parents.
A family law judge hearing a contested custody case typically looks at numerous details about the family circumstances. The employment arrangements of the parents, their living circumstances and their current relationships with the children are among the most important considerations when deciding how to allocate parental rights and responsibilities.
Judges want to do what is best for the children, and children usually thrive the most in scenarios where they maintain positive ongoing relationships with both parents. Even in scenarios where the mother has previously been the primary caregiver, the father in the family usually has an opportunity to obtain shared custody. He can secure a reasonable allocation of parenting time based on his availability and the developmental needs of the children. He can also have a degree of decision-making authority.
It is standard for the courts to expect the parents to share time with the children and to cooperate when making important decisions about their health, education and upbringing. Instead of listening to exaggerated stories online, parents who want custody may benefit more from discussing their situation with someone familiar with state statutes.
Developing a case by focusing on the best interests of the children and explaining why shared custody may be the best outcome is almost always preferable to giving up and foregoing a pursuit of shared custody due to concerns about bias.